Tumblr Codes

Tyto Aluco

home    message    submit    archive    theme
©

wolfintestine:

sqr-knt:

Went out and bought a can of pineapple juice cuz Waka said it’d make my cum taste better

too bad your sock doesn’t have taste buds

image

(Source: shredbundy, via lolsofunny)

hod-the-blind:

dx11:

mancermechro:

not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

(via bewbin)

       Anonymous

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

image

toomanyfandomssolittletime:

toomanyfandomssolittletime:

its really hard being a Hindu, because i wanna taste beef but i can’t because of religion. damn.

image

wAIT WHAT

image

mY SKIN IS WHITE???

image

I’M NOT INDIAN???? I’VE NOT BEEN A HINDU FOR 16 YEARS BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE ALSO HINDUS??

image

cAN I FINALLY STOP WORSHIPPING COWS?!?!?!!

(via gnstevenson)